Thankful

With so much evil and hatred in the news, and some of the stories hitting close to home, I think most people are feeling overwhelmed. The tragedy in Las Vegas coupled with a local attack against an Edmonton Police officer as well as ongoing racial injustices…. the world feels so broken and heartless.

I’ve struggled with my feelings about these issues and how to address them.  We all have opinions on what needs to be fixed and how to fix them, myself included. All of this had me feeling hopeless.  I’ve tried to focus more on what’s here in my home and look inward at the things I’m thankful for. Guys, do I ever have a lot to be thankful for.

My partner is a wonderful man. I am not the easiest woman to get along with, I am aware, but that makes my love that much more special…right? (RIGHT) Through my ups and downs, battling depression, anxiety, overcoming issues with my weight, and constantly struggling with self-love, he has been there and been supportive.  We’ve had our own battles over the course of 5 years but I know at the end of the day he has my back and I hope he knows I have his. By the way, where the heck did 5 years go?! Time does fly, it ain’t no lie. (Except when you’re in a public washroom waiting for other occupants in the stalls to leave so you can have a poo. You know what I’m talking about.)

My kids are pretty fantastic. They drive me nuts, but that’s their job. My stepdaughter is fierce, brave, smart, creative and ballsy.  My son is brilliant, clever, hilarious, and so caring.  My daughter is brand new and makes me smile every moment I look at her.  And the fact that I get to have all of these wonderful human beings in my care makes my heart explode.

There’s a lot of shit in the world but I will do my best to educate my children on the rights as well as the wrongs in this world so they contribute to the good. I will encourage hope, love, peace, and education.  They can be the change I want to see in the world. (No pressure, kids)

I know thoughts and prayers alone can’t change the world but our children certainly can.

I started this post a week ago and struggled so hard to find to put words to my scattered thoughts.  It’s fitting that I finish it at the end of World Mental Health Day. This week has been hard and my mental health has not been at its best.  After a lot of reflection and discussions with some really fabulous and understanding friends, I’ve realized that I need to hop back on my medication while continuing counseling.  My path is not and will not be the same as anyone else’s but I do hope that if anyone is reading this and they are struggling at all, I’m a click, a phone call, or a visit away.  Support is important and I’m happy to be that.

Thanks for reading my friends!

xx

 

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