Take me there

I love that feeling I get when a familiar “something” immediately reminds me of another time in my life, a time that made me happy.  I’m not talking about those memories that make you cringe, like whenever you smell fish you’re reminded of when you were a teenager and went to a school dance smelling of fish but didn’t realize you smelled like fish so you had to leave embarrassed and your boyfriend broke up with you…..just a guess, maybe that happened to you. Those memories can suck it.  You have zero choice in the matter, it happens just like the flashbacks in tv shows, ZING, off you go on a mental memory journey!

The smell of a hot curling iron reminds me of being 14 years old, dancing around my bedroom to ‘The Boy is Mine’, attempting to straighten my  hair to make it look nice.  By look nice I mean “look white”, which would never happen due to the fact that I am very much black with afro hair, but that would be a lesson that took me multiple years to figure out (slow learner obv).

Just seeing a photo of Bob Barker or someone mentioning the show automatically reminds me of eating lunch at my dad’s place as a kid.  When I was home sick or if Dad brought us home to eat lunch rather than at our school desks, he would always watch The Price is Right.   I don’t recall being in love with the show, more so in love with that fact that I was eating and not in school (some things never change…I mean, stay in school), but I still looked forward to hearing the familiar “COME ON DOWNNNNN”.

It’s weird to think that now, I’m creating a familiar feeling for my kids.

No pressure self but don’t be a failure of a Mom.

I wonder if our family walk to school in the mornings will be unintentionally thought of  by my son if he walks his kids to school one day. Or maybe all of making smoothies-drinking them out of wine glasses-accidentally breaking the wine glasses occasions my stepdaughter and I had will bring her fond memories of the good times we had one day when she’s drinking wine (responsibly) with her sophisticated friends.

There are days when I yell a little too much and feel like I’m not being the mother I wanted to be. I hope  these moments aren’t what they think back to when they think of me.  Maybe that should be a benchmark for successful parenting .  Strive to not be a cringeworthy memory. Take your kids to the park and swing on the swings.  Get off that stoop and ride that bike with them instead of just watching.  You can still yell at them to go to bed because that shit is frustrating and because of  balance.  Just make sure to give them a kiss on the forehead when you do.  For the memories.

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*I highly suggest you go on a musical journey through the 90s and listen to the below and the YouTube suggestions.  I just threw out my back chair dancing.*

via Daily Prompt: Zing!

Voluntold

She took a deep breath, sensing the shift in the room. Their eyes all darted back and forth, from her, and to each other, eventually resting on the clock. Looking nervous and, seemingly, holding their breath, they looked down at their blank papers and quickly scribbled a name.

A quick glance up at the clock, she knew her time had run out. Rather than have her fate decided for her, she knew it was her moment to make a choice.  When she sat up straight and cleared her throat, a few of them jumped, expecting her to contest.

She told the group, “I’ll do it. I volunteer.”  Sighs of relief immediately echoed through the room, small smiles breaking through.  She thought of her family – her husband and kids… is this the right decision? It was too late now…..

“And we have this years elementary school Parent Advisory Committee president!”, someone gleefully cried out!  They all clapped and she grimaced….

….what did she do….

200w
property of the internet and Katniss 

How are you handling life?

This sums up how I’m dealing with things right now:img_5379

 

I don’t care that you can see me because I’m pretending I can’t see you.

I’m taking a page from the ‘ol puppers today.  Tomorrow, i’ll come out from behind the curtain and resume regular life-handling activities.

Wait. Tomorrow is Saturday. And Sunday is a day of rest.

Monday it is.

You can have feelings, just not too much

smileys

Don’t feel too much.

Like, you can grieve. But don’t grieve for too long.

Get back into your work and move on.

Hey, you can be depressed.  But don’t be depressed for too long.

You can’t be too sad, just get outside, go see some friends.

Now look, you’re allowed to be sad. But don’t be sad for too long.

You gotta just pick your head up, think about something else!

Go to the gym, take a walk, figure it out but shake that shit off!

Of course, don’t be silly, you’re allowed to have feelings!

But …. that’s way too much.  I think you should have gotten over it by now.

 

So, I think you’re just faking.  Or dragging it out.  So it’s time to cut it out.

No one feels that much.

Can’t go back

shortly after this photo, he forgot he didn’t have back support and rolled right off the bench. it was hilarious.

I’m pretty sure I’m in the midst of a life changing moment. It’s either that or I’m going to make a really bad decision.

All I know for sure, I’m done missing moments like this.

Ps – as soon as Tdawg hit the ground after rolling off the bench he promptly exclaimed,

“I’m okay, I’m okay!”

There’s a life lesson in here somewhere, I know it….

Maybe you don’t eat that 3rd donut

if you eat them fast, the calories dont count

I can gauge the success of my day based on the amount of over-eating i did or did not do.

Yesterday, I received a request for a job interview and felt confident on 2 others I applied to, the kids all played together nicely with relatively no fighting AND, when I put my toddler to bed, it only felt like I was wrestling a small honey badger into bed instead of the usual grizzly bear.

Success!

This means I only ate 1 taco for dinner instead of my usual 4, a small handful of candies (really very small. seriously!) and a (chocolate covered) granola bar as a treat!  Not great but whateves, this isn’t Jenny Craig up in here.

Today,  I found out the job I was contacted about has already been filled so an interview isn’t required, received another “you’re not what we’re looking for” application response and my toddler would NOT go to bed until 10:30pm due to an accidental time-out turned nap.

Sigh….

So, I went to Timmy’s (Tim Hortons for you unlucky souls who haven’t been blessed with the Timbit) and I bought myself 3 donuts and 2 cookies.   I shoved one donut in my mouth then another, crumbs and tears falling down my face.  I was seriously a glorious sight, singing along to LL Cool J with a mouth full of Apple Pie Fritter.

I was on that 3rd donut, sitting in the parking lot of the drug store waiting for my Attivan prescription to be filled  (yup, it’s been that kind of day) and I started to think about why I’m bummed.

I’m bummed because I didn’t get the job I really didn’t want in the first place.  I’m stressed because I’m working at a job I never wanted and don’t enjoy.  I’m overwhelmed because I want to take a risk and do something else and try living for life and not for work.

When I came home, instead of wallowing in self-pity (Pity Party for 1 Please!), I joined a business conference call at the request of a friend. And I’m so glad I did.  I ended today feeling something I haven’t felt. Maybe it’s that inspiration that I’m not familiar with?! I’ll have to keep an eye on it, might just be gas…

I think I needed today to happen.  I needed a little bit of light on the path, to show me it’s the right one.  Or at the very least, I needed these jobs that I don’t want to reject me.  To push me towards the realization of what will make me happiest.  And what won’t.

And hey, maybe I didn’t need that 3rd donut.  At least that 3rd donut let me know that I definitely did not need those cookies (and I should not eat those cookies if i want the donuts to stay down).

Tomorrow I’m going to work on Apples and Oranges instead.  Out with the old, right?

But today is still today and there are chips in the cupboard and i would hate for them to go to waste…..i’ll pair them with a banana.

It’s all about balance.