It’s Not You, It’s Me.

Last weekend, I initiated a break for myself from social media.  I’m not super committed to the break so I temporarily deactivated everything with no end date in mind.  I’ve done it before but never from Instagram AND Facebook at the same time.  I have no connection to the social world! What are people doing, eating, and wearing?? Let me tell ya, my phone is less exciting without the social network. But a break was overdue.

I reached a point where I couldn’t feel anything but jealousy, guilt, and a general feeling of unhappiness when checking the updates.  I was comparing every aspect of my life.  Why aren’t I as pretty as her?  Why don’t I dress as nicely as she does?  Why can’t I wear my pregnancy like those women do?  Why doesn’t my house look like that?  Is my relationship and are my kids as good as theirs?  I’m not sure if any of you have reached this point but I felt like I was taking photos just for the purpose of being shared, not just for myself, or for the purpose of capturing the moment to remember.  I’ve always maintained that I stay on Facebook because it’s a connection to friends and family, a lot of which are scattered across this and a few other countries.  Which is true to some degree but at some point, I crossed a line.  I would post a photo and wait to see if people liked my photo. That’s a weird way to feel about a photo of your children.  Kind of takes the magic away, doesn’t it?

The week was not surprisingly hard.  Seriously. WHAT ARE PEOPLE DOING.  It made me realize that I really don’t have a close relationship with a lot of people – which is cool because the people I am in touch with regularly are amazing.  But I should make an effort to be more social (quiet Doug, I can hear you saying “I told you so”).  My break away has also shown me how much time I waste looking at Facebook and reading click bait articles.  I’ve actually read the world news on multiple occasions this week, without Facebook deciding which stories are the most important or prompting me to do so.  Baby steps in the right direction.

I’m sure I’ll end up back on the social media platforms, it’s a great way to stay connected and a perfect way to share blog posts.  But it’s definitely nice to take a step off the grid and remind myself why I loved my life so much in the first place, without someone else clicking a “like” button for me.

Hide The Cookies For Yourself

I’m rounding the corner of my pregnancy and nearing the finish line now which has me spending some time reflecting. Thinking particularly of my pregnancy 3 years ago with my son and how differently I see things this go around and how much I’ve gone through these past few years.  It’s been a humbling few years.  Little humans will humble you, regardless of how they came to be in your life.

Now, please know that I do not think I am a parenting expert AT ALL nor am I someone who should dish out advice.  So think of these as few tips that pertain to parenting, just a heads up. Lessons I’ve learned. Because we’re friends. And we’re cool like that.

  • If you take prenatal yoga, you will spend most of the class trying not to fart or pee your pants.  Don’t let that deter you. Do it, it’s great! I didn’t do it with my first pregnancy and I’m so glad I did it this time around.   I’m just letting you know so it won’t be a total surprise when you need to spend a straight hour clenching your ass while it’s up in the air in front of a stranger.
  • Do not judge other parents for petty shit. Because one day your kids will act up and force you to react the same way.  I promise you will. It’s one of the unspoken laws of parenting.  One day you’ll find yourself telling (yelling) your kid to walk from the car to the door barefoot because you’re DONE reminding them to keep their shoes on until they get inside the home and you don’t care that it’s raining and you’ll really eat your judgy judgmental words.
  • You will neglect your pets.  Don’t panic.  It’ll only be a little bit and it won’t be forever. You will figure out a routine so your pets get walked, fed, and loved like they used to.  Your kids will make it up to them by being sticky and delicious and forever accidentally (and purposefully) dropping snacks for them. It evens out.
  • Once your child is aware that their shirts and pants are in the dresser and can reach them, do not bother folding their clothing anymore. Ever. I mean it. You can ball it up and throw them in the dresser because they’re going to do it for you anyway.
  • Depending on the kid, your nursery will start to look like a bare showroom with duct tape on electrical outlets and teeth marks in bed frames.  Or is that just me?  Am I the only one whose kid is part beaver?
  • It’s okay to feed them fast food. Get the McDonalds or the Dairy Queen or the pizza. Save your sanity and feed the children. They’ll survive to tell the tale. And they will, they’ll tell everyone you fed them chicken nuggets and fries.  And when they tell the story, you’re the hero, not the villain.
  • If you feel like you’re struggling and need help, it’s okay to ask for it. I insist, please ask. Demand help. I will be so proud of you. Like first time your kid goes on the potty proud.   If you feel like you have no one to ask, ask me. I’m officially designating myself YOUR person to talk to, should you feel up to it.  We can sit in silence and watch tv, I can hang with your kids while you have a nice hot bath, we can go for a walk or we can cry together.  Whatever you need. Don’t suffer alone.
  • Hide the cookies for yourself. I know we teach our children that sharing is important, and it is. But sometimes, it’s nice to have something just for you. When you finish a bag of frozen vegetables you can hide the cookies in there. And eat them later in the shower when you’re finally alone.

Just kidding.  I don’t eat cookies in the shower anymore.  I’m a mean mom now, I eat them right in front of my kids and tell them life isn’t fair. Part of the many lessons I’m here to teach.

Like I said, I’m no pro.

Drop me a line and tell me more tips and lessons you’ve learned!