She took a deep breath, sensing the shift in the room. Their eyes all darted back and forth, from her, and to each other, eventually resting on the clock. Looking nervous and, seemingly, holding their breath, they looked down at their blank papers and quickly scribbled a name.
A quick glance up at the clock, she knew her time had run out. Rather than have her fate decided for her, she knew it was her moment to make a choice. When she sat up straight and cleared her throat, a few of them jumped, expecting her to contest.
She told the group, “I’ll do it. I volunteer.” Sighs of relief immediately echoed through the room, small smiles breaking through. She thought of her family – her husband and kids… is this the right decision? It was too late now…..
“And we have this years elementary school Parent Advisory Committee president!”, someone gleefully cried out! They all clapped and she grimaced….
I can gauge the success of my day based on the amount of over-eating i did or did not do.
Yesterday, I received a request for a job interview and felt confident on 2 others I applied to, the kids all played together nicely with relatively no fighting AND, when I put my toddler to bed, it only felt like I was wrestling a small honey badger into bed instead of the usual grizzly bear.
This means I only ate 1 taco for dinner instead of my usual 4, a small handful of candies (really very small. seriously!) and a (chocolate covered) granola bar as a treat! Not great but whateves, this isn’t Jenny Craig up in here.
Today, I found out the job I was contacted about has already been filled so an interview isn’t required, received another “you’re not what we’re looking for” application response and my toddler would NOT go to bed until 10:30pm due to an accidental time-out turned nap.
So, I went to Timmy’s (Tim Hortons for you unlucky souls who haven’t been blessed with the Timbit) and I bought myself 3 donuts and 2 cookies. I shoved one donut in my mouth then another, crumbs and tears falling down my face. I was seriously a glorious sight, singing along to LL Cool J with a mouth full of Apple Pie Fritter.
I was on that 3rd donut, sitting in the parking lot of the drug store waiting for my Attivan prescription to be filled (yup, it’s been that kind of day) and I started to think about why I’m bummed.
I’m bummed because I didn’t get the job I really didn’t want in the first place. I’m stressed because I’m working at a job I never wanted and don’t enjoy. I’m overwhelmed because I want to take a risk and do something else and try living for life and not for work.
When I came home, instead of wallowing in self-pity (Pity Party for 1 Please!), I joined a business conference call at the request of a friend. And I’m so glad I did. I ended today feeling something I haven’t felt. Maybe it’s that inspiration that I’m not familiar with?! I’ll have to keep an eye on it, might just be gas…
I think I needed today to happen. I needed a little bit of light on the path, to show me it’s the right one. Or at the very least, I needed these jobs that I don’t want to reject me. To push me towards the realization of what will make me happiest. And what won’t.
And hey, maybe I didn’t need that 3rd donut. At least that 3rd donut let me know that I definitely did not need those cookies (and I should not eat those cookies if i want the donuts to stay down).
Tomorrow I’m going to work on Apples and Oranges instead. Out with the old, right?
But today is still today and there are chips in the cupboard and i would hate for them to go to waste…..i’ll pair them with a banana.